Mole Hunt
by Vanessa Masters
Summary: *Vanessa masters thought, starting a Super hero team for her Adopted son Ed, would be fun and helpful for the world. She shouldn't have had Tony Stark sign on as banking partner.*    Only Vanessa belongs to me, no Copyright.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I make no claim to the Characters in this Fic. Except for Vanessa Masters.

Add to it: Rocky belongs to Cartuneslover16, with her permission of Course :D

_(Located in New York City is Stark Towers. Belonging to Tony Stark who is the world's wealthiest and smartest man alive. But is also a complete Douchebag)_

**Balcony at Tony's apartment**

**Tony**: _(eating breakfast)_ It's a shortlist, Jarvis.

**Jarvis**: _(pouring coffee)_ Yes, sir

**Tony**: Two things we don't allow in here, what are they?

**Jarvis**: _(sighs)_ Dogs, and Vanessa Masters.

**Tony**: That's a very short list, isn't it?

**Jarvis**: Yes but..

**Tony**: _(Frowns)_ What?

**Jarvis**: ...she was quite...

**Tony**: What, what was she?

**Jarvis**: ...insistent that she be let in.

**Flashback to the previous night**

**Vanessa**: DING DONG!  
><em>(Before Jarvis can get to the door, it's busted down and as the dust settles, A Tall Dark haired woman, sporting a purple cocktail dress, three gold bangs on her left wrist and holding a Battering Ram)<em>  
><strong>Jarvis<strong>: Evening, Mrs. Masters.

_(Vanessa tosses aside the battering Ram and casually walks into the Apartment.)_

**Vanessa**: Evening, Jarvis, is Mr. Stark in?

Jarvis: No, Madam, so i must insist you lea...

Vanessa: Well, i'm sure he won't mind me sticking around.

-

**Back to the balcony**

**Tony**: Of course I would mind, Jarvis! She freaking destroyed my Kitchen!

**Jarvis**: In all fairness, Sir, I think it was the faulty wiring in the oven that caused...

**Tony**: Stop! _(Holds up a palm)_ Do not Let her in...Ever

**Jarvis**: Yes, Sir.

**Tony**: If she barges in again. Call the Sentry Robots to deal with her. Okay?

**Jarvis**: Yes sir.

**Tony**: Vanessa Masters is not to be trusted in my home. Or in my Social Life.

**Jarvis**: Very good, Sir. What should I do about the stain on the couch?

**Tony**: Torch it...it is unclean after what she did.

**Jarvis**: _(Sighs)_ Of course, Sir.

_(Jarvis the sports a mask and Flamethrower, as Tony Leaves the Apartment, setting the couch on fire on the Balcony)_

-  
><strong>Laundry entrance to G-FORCE Headquarters <strong>

_(An Indian man is Indian garb is waiting for Stark at the front Desk)_

**Laundry Guy**: One entire whole week, we've been calling you. Highly unprofessional.

_(Sneering Tony snatches the Laundry shirts he'd left and heads to the Elevator hidden behind Washer's.)_

**Tony**: Really, because I find your sweatiness unprofessional. Now we have something else in common. Besides the fact that, now, both of our shirts reek of curry.

**Laundry Man**: _(Flashing Unpaid bills)_ And when will you settle you account?

**Tony**: When will you buy some dress shields?

**Laundry Man**: This is not a dress.

**Tony**: _(Leaning out the door)_ Are you serious! that's not a dress?

-  
><strong>Elevator to G-Force<strong>

**Tony** Oh god, with the curry again. This shirt smells like Indira Gandhi's thong.

-  
><strong>G-Force<strong>

_(Meg Griffin is shown at a Desk talking to someone on the Phone.)_

**Meg**: I'm sorry Owen, but we can't go to Sizzlers...Why? Because, you're not welcome there anymore. _*listens to Owen talk*_ You took half the dessert bar home in your pockets! _*listens to reply*_ I know it's "All You Can Eat" **AT THE RESTAURANT!**

**Tony**: _(holds up shirts)_ Hey, wanna smell something?

**Meg**: Swear to god Mr. Stark, I have Courtney's Lawyers on speed dial!

**Tony**: Shut up.._(Falls to ground as lamp is thrown at his head)_ WHOAH!

_(Tony is then shown peering into a Laboratory)_

**Tony**: Hey, Professor LGM, you've got to smell this..._(no one is seen_) LGM?...Huh...

_(Captain Cool and the Incredible Blook are fighting Rhino and Scorpion, sent by Lady Despair, when Captain Cool's cell rings. He answers it, as he holds back Scorpion's tail.)_

**Captain Cool**: Hello?

**Tony**: Hey you geeks want to smell something?

**Captain Cool**: Stark, GET THE HELL OFF THE LINE! _*Dodges a swipe from Scorpion's tail_* Yikes!

_(Tony is left staring at his Cell Phone rejected)_

**Tony**: What is it with you people? Try to include people in your life, and then you.._(Spots Rocky, as she walks down the aisle of Desks that fill up the room_) Rochelle! Hey, hey what does this smell like?

_(Rocky is a tanned girl, with the most sparkling brown eyes anyone's ever seen. Her hair is held back by a yellow headband, her canary yellow sundress matching it, as she walks the gold bracelet with ruby's jingles on her right wrist. Her eyes narrow as she sneers at the older male.)_

**Rocky**: Oh, One: Don't call me Rochelle. Two: I don't care what any part of you smells like. And Three: You think I want anything to do with you, after you broke up me and Dib six months ago!

-  
><strong>Flashback to Dib and Rocky in their Apartment <strong>

_(Rocky and Dib are sitting at a table, in the aftermath of a finished meal)_

**Rocky**: Oh my god, you're amazing at cooking.

**Dib**: Well Mrs. pesky taught me some of her skills.

**Rocky**: I wonder if you learned anything else from another girl.

**Dib**: Like what?

**Rocky**: _*leans forward*_ Like...kissing?

**Dib**: Oh. OH! _(leans forward wagging his eyebrows)_ Well, I may have learned a few tricks.

_(Beofre they can kiss, Iron Man is sent crashing into the apartment. He lands on the table, the two daties still sitting in their chairs. Before he retracts his face-mask, looking at them.)_

**Iron Man**: Sorry about that Kids. _(Looks at table he crashed)_ Oh, were you gonna tell Dib you liked him?

**Rocky**: _*frowns crossing arms*_ I was...

**Iron Man**: Hope it goes better, then when you told Zim, you loved him and he rejected you.

**Dib**: _*Stunned*_ WHAT!

_(Rocky giggles nervously, before she gives Tony an Evil stare)_

**Iron Man**: What?

-  
><strong>Back to G-Force<strong>

**Rocky**: So don't speak to me. **Ever**. And while you're not speaking to me, **Ever** _*Grabbing his shirt, she tears it to pieces*_ go jump in a hole, and die.

**Tony**: Oh, and after all that HR mediation. Really?

**Rocky**: _*Walking off-screen*_ Yup.

**Tony**: After all the hard work Fluttershy did?

_(A tall handsome man, with white hair, a business suit, blue eyes and gold cufflinks reading "Vlad" walks up to Tony)_

**Vlad**: Is that Stark?

**Tony**: _(squeezes eyes shut)_ God damn it.

**Vlad**: Tony.

**Tony**: Go away. I've already had my suit's torn, I don't need you bothering.

**Vlad**: _(crosses his arms in no-nonsense expression)_ Regardless, of wether or not you want my company. We need to talk about your operations account.

**Tony**: Vlad, not now.

**Vlad**: Yes, now.

**Tony**: Not a good time.

_(Vlad sighs pinches his nose bridge)_

**Vlad**: You've got some serious...

**Tony**: _(turns to face him)_ What?

**Vlad**: ...discrepancies in your personal account.

**Tony**: No, Vlad.

**Vlad**: _(sarcastic)_ I'm sure you wouldn't use operational funds for personal expenses.

-  
><strong>Flashback to Spending Spree and Casino<strong>

_(Spending at casino montage, Tony is shown with his arm around a red haired chick. Looking at a roulette wheel in anticpitation.)_  
><strong>Tony<strong>: Come one Black, 22, Black, 22, Black! Ass! Son of a bitch. _(See's luke cage frowning at him, with arms crossed)_ Not you, giant African man. Sorry, can I offer you a drink? How about this expensive prostitute?

**Luke Cage**: I'm married.

**Tony**: _(looks at his 'Escort')_ To a prostitute?

-  
><strong>G-Force<strong>

**Tony**: That is a very serious implication, Vlad.

**Vlad**: Well, so is embezzlement.

**Tony**: Yeah, well, So's the fact that you, some crazy how, are screwing my ex.

_(Vlad throws open his arms exasperated)_

**Vlad**: Tony, please.

**Tony**: What, is that not common knowledge? _(turns to everyone in the room)_ You all know about Vlad and Vanessa getting married, two years after she broke up with me! DON'T YOU!

**Vlad**: _(snarls)_ ANTHONY STARK!

**Tony**: Because if Abjay knows, then everybody knows. Because of Abjay's huge mouth.  
>Right, Abjay? <em>(Said girl is standing in a nearby doorway. She has two black ponytails on both sides of her head, which is covered by a wrestling mask, the area around the eyes a dark red, a purple star at the spot where the eyes meet. She wears a school girls jacket, open it shows her dress shirt, last she sports a pink skirt and some red cowboy boots. She gasps, insulted when Tony points at her.)<em> HR mediations are supposed to be confidential, Abjay, you manatee. _(Whips head at Vlad)_ And as for you, Mr. Masters, Good Day Sir!

**Vlad**: Hey wait. What about your account? _(Realizes what happened)_ Oh I get it. Classic misdirection.

-  
><strong>Outside Vanessa's office<strong>

**Tony**: _{when looking at Vanessa's door}_ Ah, the big, golden door to mediocre management.

_(A young woman in blue office suit is shown, sitting at a desk in front of the door. She's best known as Eva from Total Drama island, except her hair is loose and in a wave.)_

**Eva**: A little respect for our fearless leader, please.

**Tony**: It's my boss' secretary, Eva.

**Eva**: It's my boss' whipping boy, Tony Stark/Iron Man.

**Tony**: And why should I respect her? I've worked in the Hero Business longer than she has, you know.

**Eva**: And you're proud of that?

**Tony**: Hmmm. Good point.

**Vanessa's office **

_(Vanessa is shown leaning back in her chair, Double D and Sierra are shown, putting a wet washcloth on her forehead, while rubbing the back of her hands)_  
><strong>Vanessa<strong>: Lord this hangover! I swear it's like a bunch of monkeys, fighting over a bucket of marbles.  
><em>(Tony enters)<em>  
><strong>Vanessa<strong>: Oh God. What the hell are you doing here?

**Tony**: Come to meet you. Since you said I was to meet you to my butler, who's currently now. Torching my couch you defiled last night.

**Vanessa**: Spare me your drivel! _(waving her hands at Edd and Sierra, the two scurry out of the office.)_ I'm in no mood to volley words with you.

**Tony**: _(smug smirk)_ Too hung over.

_(He proceeds' to pour himself some gin. From Vanessa's Decanter, seated on the shelf against the nearby wall.)_

**Vanessa**: Ah..Actually, for your information, I've just been reviewing your operations account.

**Tony**: _(whips head at her)_ No

**Vanessa**: Yes

**Tony**: _(sits down in front of desk)_ No

**Vanessa**: Yes

**Tony**: No

**Vanessa**: _(leans across the desk)_ YES!

**Tony**: No

**Vanessa**: And it makes for fascinating reading. _(the bookshelf behind her, lowers to reveal a screen. Showing all the spots in the world Tony was at)_ Shall we go over some expenses?

**Tony**: No.

**Vanessa**: Let's see, you turned in an expense report from Berlin, where the German desk says you never checked in.

**Tony**: Oh ah Berlin.

**Vanessa**: Ditto Buenes Ares. Too busy to check in?

**Tony**: Oh yeah..

**Vanessa**: Or already off to Morocco?

**Tony**: I'm off Super heroing.

**Vanessa**: Or was it Majorca. _(Fake Chipper tone)_ Oh, or Tunis?

**Tony**: Tunis kind of rings a bell

_(Slamming her fists on the desk, as she stands up, obvious that she's going to regret that action later. She snarls at Tony with her eyes glowing purple and her voice distorted.)_

**Vanessa**: G-FORCE ISN'T YOUR OWN PERSONAL TRAVEL AGENCY! _(Calming down due to a stab of pain in her head, she settles but her eyes still glow)_ It doesn't exist just so you can jet off to.. Whore Island.

**Tony**: That's not...a real place.

**Vanessa**: Listen to me you Ass Munching, Whore Mongering, Sex Maniac. I set up this Agency becuase it is my son's one big dream. AND IF YOU THREATEN IT!

**Tony**: Geez, settle down, your eyes are glowing again.

**Vanessa**: _(Her finger pointed at him like a dagger)_ I have fifty Ex-boyfriends, who would literally kill to be in your position. And if you don't square up your operations account by Monday, they won't need to. YOUR POSITION WILL BE VACANT! _(She finishes her shout, noticing Tony isn't paying attention)_ STARK!

**Tony**: Sorry, I was picturing whore island.

**Vanessa**: Have I made myself clear?

**Tony**: You're looking for the answer yes?

**Vanessa**: Yes

**Tony**: Then yes.

**Vanessa**: Good, now get out. _(pointing to the door, Stark heads toward it)_ And for God's sake, take a shower. _(lifts glass of water to mouth)_ It smells like a whore house in here.

**Tony**: OK, your own fingers.

**Vanessa**: What?

**Tony**: Nothing. _(Vanessa glowers at him from over her glass)_ Johnny Bench called.

**Vanessa**: GET OUT! _(Hurling the glass at Stark, who dodges it fleeing thru the door, Eva comes in concerned. Seeing Vanessa slumped in her chair, grabbing her forehead)_ Eva...get me a relaxing mud mask. I'm in **Serious** need of a spa treatment.

**Eva**: _(sighs)_ Right away, Vanessa.


	2. Chapter 2

-  
><strong>Outside G-force Mainframe room<strong>

**Tony**: _(to mainframe door)_ So here's the thing. I need to access my operations account, and you're preventing that. Now we can do this easy, or we can do it hard. _(holding up his hand, shows he has a laser rpulsor glove on)_ Your call. No? Hard it is then.

_(Tony shoots repeatedly, Laser blasts ricocheting hitting Milhouse off-screen)_

**Milhouse**: Ow!

**Tony**: Oh god, sorry.

**Milhouse**: Why is this happening to me!

**Tony**: I forgot that...did I get you?

**Milhouse**: I'M TELLING WEEKEND DAD!

**Tony**: Oh, relax! It'll heal, just make sure you plant a salve on it in 30 minutes.

_(Duncan arrives on scene, holding a coffee cup. He's a teenage punk boy, with a green mohawk, a black shirt with a skull. A yellow undershirt is shown under the black shirt, some torns jeans with a chain attached to the pockets.)_

**Duncan**: I see your still causing collateral damage.

**Tony**: And I see that you are still a snot-haired punk.

**Duncan**: Do you see that sign? _(indicates a "No unauthorized access" sign)_

**Tony**: Do you see that sign? _(indicates a "No food and drink" sign) _Punk?

**Duncan: **Well, I..

_(Tony smashes Duncan's coffee cup onto the floor)_

**Duncan**: Wha..DUDE!

**Tony**: That's why. So we don't get ants.

_(Walking off, Duncan glares at Tony his eyes shifting to yellow reptile form.)_

-  
><strong>Fluttershy's Office<strong>

_(Fluttershy, with a dolphin hand-puppet, is talking to Proffesor LGM/Invader Zim)_  
><strong>Fluttershy<strong>: Because when your co-workers put food in the refrigerator, that's a bond of trust. OK, and if you violate that trust, or...the food...

**Tony**: _(holding box of donuts)_There's my favorite section head.

**Fluttershy**: _(sighs frustrated) _Mr. Stark, I'm dealing with the break room problem...

**Tony**: Oh good, you caught the - oh wait I had something for this -The "Pita Predator"

**Tony**: Let's just call it what it is...Food Rapist.

**Fluttershy**: _(To Zim) _Not a pretty name is it?

**Tony**: Oh and Fluttershy, if you want some food, that is supposed to be cream filled. _(Zim hisses at Tony for that remark)_  
>I offer these delicious donuts...<p>

**Fluttershy**: Yeah?

**Tony**: ...in exchange for a favor.

**FLuttershy**: Ummm...Mr. Stark.

**Tony**: Please, call me Tony.

**Fluttershy**: Tony...I can't help you with anything.

**Zim**: _(Smug)_ Because, Mrs. Masters just issused a decree, that until Monday comes and passes us by. We aren't allowed to..._"Help" _you with favours.

**Tony**: But I need your help, Fluttershy...Because I, I'm um I'm ... conducting a Skrull Hunt.

_(Fluttershy gasps, while Professor LGM Jump's to his feet in alarm.)_

**Proffesor LGM**: Disgusting Imposter Aliens, come to Infiltrate Headquarters of Zim!

**Tony**: Gasp, you should. Because if you let me in the mainframe, I'll drop these donuts, then Zim can pretend they're Rocky and you're a horny, horny..  
><em>(Scoffing in disgust, Fluttershy pushes a button shutting the door, with Tony now alone outside Fluttershy's office) <em>Invader...

_(Turning around he see's Rocky walking his way)_

**Tony**: Hey Rocky, I was..._(Rocky knocks the box of Donuts out of his hands) _Oh is that what you want!

**Rocky**: _(offscreen) _Yeeeeuuup!

**Tony**: _(gestures to floor) _Because that's how you get Ants!

**Rocky**: _(offscreen) _Yay!

**Tony**: Maybe i'd have better luck with Fanboy and ChumChum...

_(A Blue Pac Man like creature walks up to Tony, but with his mask and red cape on, he's known as the Incredible Blook. Who's currently dragging a unconcious Scorpion and Rhino to holding Cell)_

**Bloo**: Good luck. They always leave early to Rocky's place on Friday.

**Tony**: What! Why?

**Incredible Blook**: _*shrugs* _Their not allowed alone on Friday, and Vanessa likes to spend Friday's alone with Vlad.

**Tony**: Damn those two and their happy marriage.

**Incredible Blook**: Yeeeaaah, your life is just a big mess since she left you for him.

**Tony**: Shut up! Don't you have to be eaten by Pac-Man?

**Incredible Blook**: _*Grimaces* _Phrasing!

**Tony**: I guess i'll have to go straight to the top.

**Incredible Blook**: _(rolls eyes carrying the two vilians away) _Good luck with that.

**Outside G-Force**

**Tony**: G-Force headquarters makes fort knox look like a gingerbread house. Only two meansof ingress. The first, at street level, impenetrable after six. The second through an access door on the roof, inexplicably unprotected. But even if you ziplined across.. reach the access door, and somehow made it into G-Force headquarters, you'd still have to find the mainframe. But wait, it gets worse.  
>Inside there are three countermeasure systems. The first is pressue sensitive, in the floor. Even a mouse triggers it. The second is sound sensitive. Anything above a whisper sets it off. and the third system is state of the art voice activation...<p>

**Flashback to door of mainframe during a work day**

_(Vlad using voice activation lock)_  
><strong>Vlad<strong>: Vlad Masters

-  
><strong>Restaurant<strong>

_(Tony and Eva are finishing lunch.)_  
><strong>Tony<strong>: So obviously, it would be a lot easier for me if you just disabled all that when you left work tonight, somehow.

**Eva**: Mmm..

**Tony**: Yeah?

**Eva**: That would impossible, since I don't have authorization.

**Tony**: Wha...YOU TOLD ME YOU HAD THE CLARANCE!

_(Eva gets up from the table, calmly slipping her purse onto her shoulder)_

**Eva**: See, Vanessa has been nothing but kind to me, Vlad is putting my brother thru college, sooooo...I can't help you.

**Tony: "Can't"** Or "**Won't**!"

**Eva: **_(__pause) _Both?

**Tony**: So, that's it! After the free lunch I gave you!

**Eva**: _(offscreen walking away) _Yeeeeup!

**Tony**: And that's Rocky's catchphrase.

**Eva**: Pffft!

**Tony**: Fine! _(Sulking pout)_ I guess i'll have to do it myself...I suppose going in as Iron Man is out of the question. _(a clever grin crosses his face)_Although

-  
><strong>That night, on a rooftop near G-Force. Dressed in black Sweater and jeans, holding a duffle bag.<strong>

**Tony**: So, thanks for nothing, Eva. Now I have to break in to G-Force headquarters in a $900 turtleneck. And if it gets ruined, I'm going to make you regret ever meeting Vanessa, you... Eva.  
><em>(A ziplines over, and Tony enters G-Force)<em>

-  
><strong>Inside G-Force<strong>

**Tony**: Wow, that was actually pretty easy. Thanks, new turtle neck.

_(Tony rips his turtleneck while removing his duffle)_

**Tony**: _(sarcastically)_And thank you, duffle bag. Jesus, what else could go wrong?

_(Cut to laundry, and Duncan getting into the G-Force lift. Immediately cut to G-Force phone panel, which starts ringing_)

-  
><strong>Rocky's apartment<strong>

**Rocky**: Exactly, he's piggish, loud, narccistic, and a nymphomaniac.

**Fanboy**: I think the term for a male Nympho is a Satyr

_(Phone rings, Rocky answers it)_

**Rocky**: Agent Rocky..  
><em>(garbled talk from phone)<em>  
><strong>Rocky<strong>: What! Yes. Confirmed.

**Fanboy**: _*excited* _Comfirmed the newest issue of Monkey Mania, Coming out!

**Rocky**: What? No! Chumchum, there's been a breakin at ISIS.

**ChumChum**: What? You think it's the Skrull?

**Rocky**: God, you Boys and Abjay.

**ChumChum**: Abjay's alright.

_(Rocky just stares at ChumChum, slowly blinking her eyes)_

**Rocky**: Wow, OK. Ah well I've go to..

**Fanboy**: But its stirfryday.

**Rocky**: _(weakly)_Hooray. But if I'm not here...

**ChumChum**: uh..

-  
><strong>Rocky, Fanboy and ChumChum are in a car, with Rocky Driving them to G-Force<strong>

**ChumChum**: Because after three months of - Stirfrydays.

**Rocky**: ChumChum..

**Fanboy**: We just think its a little weird..

**Rocky**: _(sighs) _Not you too Fanboy..

**Fanboy**: ...that you can't leave us alone in your apartment.

**Rocky**: You two really want to bring up trust, when you happened to have destroyed my Apartment with Yum-Yum?

**Fanboy&ChumChum**: Never mind.

_(Rocky, ChumChum and Fanboy pull up at G-Force)_

**Outside G-Force mainframe room**

_(Tony is talking to Vlad by phone)_  
><strong>Vlad<strong>: Yes, Hello.

**Tony**: Hi, who's this?

**Vlad**: Vlad Masters.

**Tony**: I'm sorry, did you say Fagsters?

**Vlad**: Masters

_(Vanessa is heard in the bakcground)_

**Vanessa**: Who is it?

**Vlad**: _(to Vanessa) _It's no one, Dear. Just keep rubbing the lotion on it.

**Vanessa**: Is it Abjay?

**Vlad**: _(into Phone) _Masters.

**Vanessa**: It better not be Abjay.

**Tony**: Masters? Not Fagsters?

**Vlad**: Masters, I was very clear...  
><em>(Tony hangs up on Vlad, he then addresses the mainframe door security panel)<em>  
><strong>Tony<strong>: Hi, I'm a huge fan of cock, and my name is _(uses voice recorder)_  
>Vlad Masters<br>(_The mainframe door opens_)  
><strong>Tony<strong>: Holy shit, our security is atrocious. Seriously, its really bad. _(sits down at Computer)_ Password. hmm password, um how about "Guest". _(Eyes widen in shock, when the computer logs on)_ No way, it can't be. Jesus Christ, that is just babytown frolics. _(scrolling thru files)_ OK, operations account. How deep in the red am I...Out of my mind! _(Seeing the number $50,000 flashing)_Oh no. How? How did I spend that much money!

**Flashback to apartment**

**Tony**: Yeah, I know its sexy Jarvis, that's why I bought ten. Now arrange those by color.

**Jarvis**: These are all black.

**Tony**: Or are five in a dark black, and five in a slightly darker black?

**Back to G-Force mainframe room**

_(A typing on mainframe)_  
><strong>Tony<strong>: And now I'm short a slightly darker black one. So, lets just put all my expenses into some pathetic idiots account, by the name of...  
><em>(Duncan arrives at the door to the mainframe room, carrying a laser balster<em>)  
><strong>Tony<strong>: ...oh, Duncan Osgood.

**Duncan**: That's not very nice.

_(Tony's head whips to face Duncan, startled seeing him._)

**Tony**: Hey, I ah, I was just talking about you, and about how this isn't what it looks like.

**Duncan**: A lot of that going around.

**Tony**: Yeah, it's an epidemic.

**Duncan**: For example, my real name is Jash.

**Tony**: Is that - sound, is that Jewish?

**Duncan**: It's Alien.

**Tony**: Ah...Alien Jewish?

_(Growling frustrated, Duncan shifts into a green reptile like Alien with yellow eyes)_

**Jash**: I'm the Skrull, idiot.

**Tony**: _(shocked)_Wha..? I MADE UP THE SKRULL!

**Jash**: Yes, but you told Zim, who told Abjay, and now everyone is looking for a real Skrull.

**Tony**: God, do we hate Abjay..

**Jash**: So, I have to escape.

**Tony**: ...and irony.

**Jash**: But thanks for breaking into the mainframe for me.

**Tony**: Double irony.

**Jash**: Because I'll need fifty thousand for travel expenses..

**Tony**: Fifty-thousand?

**Jash**: ...from your account.

**Tony**: That's too much.

**Jash**: Its all last minute bookings _(points blaster at Tony)_for two.

**Tony**: Two..? Oh.

_(Tony is being lead thru the office cubicles, Jash has the blaster nudged into Stark's back)_

**Jash**: Because when I hand the notorious Iron Man to the Skrull Emperor, I won't just get a promotion, I'll get my own Planet!

_(Rocky enters, two blasters in her hands, as she walks toward them casually_)  
><strong>Rocky<strong>: Too bad you'll never see it.

**Jash**: What the?  
><em>(Rocky rushes forward, kicking up Jash's face, then jabbing the end of her blaster into his gut.)<em>  
><strong>Tony<strong>: Rocky, Duncan's the skrull, and his name's not really Duncan, it's Jash...Definitely Russian, possibly a Jew. I don't know. Thoughts?

**Rocky**: Yeah. Shut up. And you _(points to Jash, who wipes blood from his mouth)_ If you so much as change your eye color, you'll be in big Dip Shit.  
><em>(Jash moves to attack Rocky)<em>  
><strong>Tony<strong>: No. No don't wind her up, because that's a big gun and she's baby crazy.

**Rocky**: _(gasps)_Baby crazy?

**Tony**: That's why Dib dumped her.

**Rocky**: _(Turns her blasters toward him)_ You little.. You sack of shit. _(Fearing for his life, Tony pulls his own blasster glove on, aiming at Rocky)_I Got Dumped. BECAUSE YOU F&*# RUINED IT ALL!

**Tony**: See! Totally Crazy! Throwing a fit like a little Baby!

**Rocky**: You want to see crazy?

**Tony**: No I've seen that movie, and, spoiler alert, it ends with a closet full of my suits on fire.

**Rocky**: I wish you'd been wearing one.

**Tony**: Who would want to wear an on-fire suit?

**Rocky**: Cosplay enthusiasts.

**Tony**: What?

**Rocky**: Wait, do you ..

**Tony**: Do you know how totally batshit insane you sound?

**Rocky**: I'll tell you what I hear!  
><em>(The Elevator dings, as Jash turns back into Duncan and escapes. Rocky turns to say something to Tony.)<em>  
><strong>Tony<strong>: Yeah...please keep talking.

-  
><strong>Outside G-Force, Vanessa and Vlad are talking to Fanboy and CHumChum, both who are munching on a bowl full of stir fry.<strong>

**Vlad**: So, there we are Enjoy our...Massage Sessions.

**Vanessa**: To each other.

**Fanboy**: TMI.

**Vlad**: When we get a call from the Security Company, about our defenses being breached.

**Vanessa**: So, why are you two in the car, eating stirfry?

**ChumChum**: It's stirfryday, and because Rocky said so.

_(Jash as Duncan comes out of the Laundry/Dry Cleaners.)_

**Vlad**: Duncan?

**Jash**: Mr. Masters?

**Vlad**: What's this flap about a break in?

**Jash**: Er..

_(Tony and Rocky come out of the Cleaners)_

**Tony**: Vlad, look out, Duncan's a Skrull.

**Vanessa**: Oh, Abjay is as full of crap, as she is of carbohydrates. Now...  
><em>(Skrull Jash grabs Vanessa)<em>  
><strong>Jash<strong>: Not this time, you impossible bitch. Also, you should all be nicer to Abjay.

**Rocky:**I Am Always nice to Abjay!

**Vanessa**: Pfft! To her face...

**Rocky**: Why aren't you underneath Vlad? It is Friday night.

**Vanessa**: In case you haven't noticed...I'M CURRENTLY BEING MANHANDLED BY A SKRULL IMPOSTER!

**Fanboy**: Wouldn't it be Skrull-handled?

**Vlad**: _(frantic)_ Somebody, do something.  
><em>(Tony grabs Rocky and puts a gun to her head)<em>  
><strong>Rocky<strong>: What are you doing, you idiot?

**Tony**: Looks like we have a Mexican Standoff!

**Jash**: How is this a Mexican standoff?

**Tony**: Um

**Rocky**: Imbecile.

**Jash**: I don't care if you shoot her!

**Fanboy**: _(meekly) _I do...

**Jash**: But what if I shoot her_(pushes gun against Vanessa's face) _Huh, Lover Boy?

_(Tony looks like he might like that, worrying vanessa)_

**Vanessa**: Tony?

**Jash: **Yessss, picture her dead in the gutter...

**Vanessa: **_(struggles)_ STARK!

**Jash**: ...and how much better your life will be like without her!

**Rocky**: _(shocked) _Jesus Christ!

**ChumChum**: What?

**Rocky**: _(appalled) _He's got an erection!

**Vanessa**: What!

**Jash**: What the hell is wrong with you people?

_(Jash recoils from Vanessa. Rocky, Vlad and Tony seize the opportunity and  
>shoots or Blasts Jash repeatedly with bullet's laser blasts and ecto blasts, fatally.)<em>

**Tony**: Nothing, you on the other hand..  
>(<em>Vanessa starts to hit Tony with her Necrod weapon.<em>)  
><strong>Tony<strong>: Ow! Ow!

**Vanessa**: An erection!

_(Vanessa continues to wail on Tony)_

**Tony**: Hey, what have you been eating? Bricks!

**Vlad**: _(arms crossed with proud grin) _My Lovely Wife is strong.

**Vanessa**: _(incredulous)_The thought of me dead gives you an erection!

**Tony**: No, just half a one. The other half would have really missed you..I mean not. _(Vanessa scoffs in disgust, walking away from him into the building)_Oh...Johnny Bench called.

-  
><strong>G-Force<strong>

_(The gang are at a computer, going over what may have been touched.)_

**Vlad**: Yep, see here. _(pulls up print sheet) _Jash just stole fifty thousand from Tony's account. He must have been doing doing it all along.

**Tony**: Ah apology accepted, assdouche.

**ChumChum**: Hey!

**Tony**: What?

**Rocky**: _(Aims blaster at him) _Call him that again.

**Tony**: Make me.

**Rocky**: What?

**Tony**: What? V, do you see this?

**Vanessa**: _(Staring off distracted)_ I just don't understand

**Tony**: This is a hostile work environment.

**Vanessa**: I would have known if we had a Alien Imposter.

**Tony**: Yeah, you were just to busy banging your husband and getting drunk to realize. Yeah, we forgive you for that.

**Vanessa**: _(to Tony) _And who are you, "Mr. Judgey"?

**Tony**: _(confused)_ Judgey...

**Vanessa**: Never mind. _(under her breath)_ You and your erections _(gestures to floor) _AND WHY ARE THERE DONUTS EVERYWHERE!

**Tony**: Rocky did that.

**Rocky**: What? I didn't...

**Vanessa**: _(to Rocky) _Do you want Ants? Because that is how you get ants!

**The End**


End file.
